7 powerful coach questions to make sense of mystical experience.

If you’ve read my blog entitled: How to integrate the 4 phases of near-death experiences & other STE’s, you’ll find this follow-up blog featuring ‘the top clarifying questions a coach might ask’ helpful in developing your personal integration strategy.

It is likely that if you’ve had a near-death, out-of-body or other spiritually transformative experience for the first time, you may be struggling to process your new level of awareness.

Integrative Coaching can help you smash through the barriers, challenges, and/or fear, while unveiling insight, and understanding.

Are you struggling with any of these after-effects following your near-death, out-of-body, shared-death or other spiritually transformative experience?

Do you recognise yourself on this list? You are not alone. Millions of experiencers have been faced with these effects, some of which may be perceived as being negative, others positive, depending on the individual.

Now that you’ve identified some of your after-effects what are the next steps? Find support that is knowledgeable of near-death (NDEs), out-of-body (OBEs), shared near-death (SDEs), or other spiritually transformative experiences (STEs). IANDS.com, and SAI.com are great resources but don’t offer direct support. If you are looking for more, let’s examine an integrative coaching approach.

Integrative Coaching exists to help you unveil the meaning behind your mystical experience. The coach role is to ask informed questions about the impact of the NDE, STE, OBE. Your coach will help you identify meaningful steps to process the experience in a positive and direct way.

Loss of fear of death is the most common after-effect, which may be both positive and negative.

Let’s take Ryan and Alicia as an example. Alicia has already been impacted by loss. Ryan has had an experience that is incomprehensible to her. Ryan is saying and doing things that are uncharacteristic. For example, Ryan feared death before his near-death experience, but now he takes risks he would have deemed unacceptable previous to his experience. This is terrifying for Amanda. On top of it, Ryan keeps saying things like “I wish I had stayed in that beautiful garden on the other side. I felt no pain, and I was indistinguishable from an all-pervasive love. I can’t even describe the feeling.”

This situation can destroy any marriage, and it often does. Coaching can unveil the impacts, both positive and negative, of the after-effects, and help clarify a path forward. 

Your Integrative Coach is always looking to clarify challenges, barriers, old narratives. In this case, a coach may ask the following questions:

1. What does “loss of fear of death” mean to you?
2. Does this loss of fear of death extend to the process of dying or is it the state of physical death you no longer fear?
3. Do you feel your loved ones understand and accept your reason for no fear? 

Finding value and meaning through processing the after-effects is part of a four-phase process of integration.

This experience happened to you for a reason. Through a safe, non-judgemental integrative coaching relationship you can:

1. Understand the reasons you’ve had the experience.
2. Move through the four phases of integration with greater ease.
3. Reduce the length of the integration.
4. Distill your life meaning and new worldview.
5. Assist your loved ones in understanding and accepting the “new you”.

Let’s get back to Ryan and Amanda. Another effect he is processing is feeling more spiritual and less religious. 

Ryan was a leader in his fundamentalist church. Amanda taught Sunday School. While in surgery following his car accident, Ryan “flatlined” and had an NDE, which included a verifiable out-of-body experience. When he awoke, he described this amazing after-death experience. He explained to Amanda that his experience resulted in his feeling of being at one with a universal energy. He was a drop of light in a loving universal consciousness. He did not see God or Jesus, but he was greeted by beings filled with light. He was shown that all people are loved and people are never judged for the lives they have lived. Ryan told Amanda he now knew there is an after-life; one that is non-judgmental. He felt this non-judgment was a departure from his religious teachings, and after the accident he slowly moved away from his role as a leader of the congregation. Amanda was in complete grief and unsure of what to think about this radical change in her partner.

A coach may ask:

1. What does “religion” mean to you? 
2. What does “spirituality” mean to you?
3. How do you measure “less religious”?
4. In your experience, have your closest loved ones accepted religiosity and spirituality in equal measure, with openness and non-judgement? 

From these “opener” questions, the Coach will help Ryan dig deeper to find a way forward that works for him. Ryan will explore all of his after-effects and various impacts from his mystical experience with compassion for himself and others. He will gain clarity on his journey instead of floundering in self-doubt, always asking “why”? The investment in fully integrating his mystical experience will provide new tools, skills, knowledge and awareness he will use every day to define his new life. 

Amanda is an integral part of Ryan’s new awareness. If she is open to his experience, she too may find a new expanded life meaning. She may also seek out coaching to work through the impact of Ryan’s near-death experience in the context of her life. The mystical experience has the potential to enhance and expand the path of the experiencer, while creating an opportunity to have him/her become a catalyst for change in others. 

For more on Integrative Coaching, explore resources and supports on www.thewisdomofus.ca.

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