How to integrate 4 phases of alarming near-death experiences
If you’ve clicked through from the blog entitled: 10 affects of STE’s, NDE’s, OBE’s & what to do about them, you’ll find this blog featuring the four phases of integration particularly helpful.
Integration is incorporating two or more experiences in your life in an effective way.
Let’s face it, personal or spiritual growth is life-long learning. Even the most profoundly spiritual people don’t describe themselves as fully enlightened beings. They recognise the opportunity for learning as it presents itself throughout life. They are interconnected with wisdom, forever seeking and embracing the opportunity to learn.
Embrace wisdom, share wisdom, and expand your experience in this lifetime.
Let’s frame the moment: you’ve had an Near-Death Experience (NDE), Out-of-Body Experience (OBE), or Spiritually Transformative Experience (STE) and feel you don’t have the capacity to deal with the experience. You are likely correct.
Fortunately for you, fantastic resources from previous experiencers have been developed to guide and encourage your integration (see resource page). That is why it is important to explore, share and learn with others. There is a community of waiting for you. Gather supports and tools to make the most of the gift you’ve been given.
Don’t worry about how long each of the four integration phases takes. We are all painting our masterpiece at our own pace. There is no wrong way. Trust the process. Know that you are in the right place at the right time to do this transformational work.
You will integrate at your own pace. Think of walking in the woods, not knowing the path. The first time, you go a little slower due to unfamiliarity with the trail. As you visit the path again and again, you complete the walk more quickly. Chances are, the pathway visits also become more enjoyable because your confidence and knowledge have increased. This is very much like the integration journey.
Your profound experience is a font of continual knowledge, always available to help your further expansion.
While your experience of integration is highly personalised, you will find integration has some predictable phases:
This phase is characterized by many as having been “squished” back into a limited body and life. While your experience was marked by a sense of expansiveness, coming back is marked by a sense of constraint. At a recent meeting of IANDS, a young woman described her experience coming back into her body as “trying to fit into a wet suit that was two sizes too small while you are wet and covered with sand”. That is an apt description!
Profound loss is a common feeling. The perceived loss of unconditional, all-encompassing love can linger after the experience. Some say they feel like they were “kicked out of heaven” when they returned to their bodies. This can leave you despondent and grief-stricken, wondering “what is my purpose?”.
You may experience confusion, sleeplessness, or a sense of still being connected to the other realm. “Why was I brought back?” is the experiencers question at this time. This lack of grounding can manifest in a messy life, with the everyday responsibilities of life falling away, causing disruption or disfunction.
Conversely, returning after an enlightening experience can leave you feeling powerful, full of love and light, and possessing more clarity in your life purpose than you’ve ever had before.
Two how-to integrate tips for phase one:
- Know that your STE is real, and has meaning. Reaching out to others who can reaffirm your experience is a valuable first-step in getting you to phase four. Don’t struggle by trying to process this alone; there is so much more benefit in sharing.
- Know that you are more than your physical self. While you are not defined by your human experience, grounding exercises are important to tie you to the earthly realm so you can make sense of the NDE,OBE, STE relative to your human experience.
Looking for more tips? Connect for a 20-minute free coaching session.
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Once the initial confusion of the unusual experience has passed, you may find yourself moving from accepting to processing. Oftentimes, experiencers turn inward. Clarity of life purpose redefine the life and activities you once enjoyed. You may find yourself reflecting on values, while considering reframing your live based on your new awareness.
This phase can be difficult for partners, family and friends. Oftentimes, they describe the person they once knew as “evolving into someone they don’t recognise”. This is a very important time for loved ones to seek support. Understanding their feelings about the unusual experience will impact their life, and that of their loved one. While there are many ways to get support, I recommend you find those resources through a community who research and understand these experiences. (see my resource page or reach out for a free coaching session through an email).
Two how-to integrate tips for phase two:
- This is a very important time for loved ones to seek support and understand their feelings about what is happening to this important person in their life. While there are many ways to get support, I recommend you find those resources through a community who research and understand the experience and the challenges association with it (see IANDS for additional resources or reach out for a free coaching session through my Journey-Coach page).
- Give yourself permission to have some alone-time. Communicating the importance of that processing time to partners, friends and family is also very important. Respect and protect your need for processing in this phase; it is essential to the success of future phases. This reflection phase may take a long time, and that is OK.
Time spent processing in the last two phases results in laser focus. Empowerment from phase two allows experiencers to enact change.
This period of reframing life is combined with confidence in knowing a future path – it becomes crystal clear. Old narratives, attachments, traumas, and the relationships which held those conditions in place, are released. Breaking those bonds now becomes possible through compassion and thoughtfulness, not struggle.
Two how-to integrate tips for phase three:
- Your old ways are “released”, not necessarily severed. Those relationships which were tied to old narratives and conditions also have the ability to adapt and respond to the growth and change you are experiencing. Compassionately make room for the parallel growth and development of some of the relationships that no longer seemed to validate your “new you”.
- You can be a catalyst for the spiritual growth of others, if they have a desire to understand. They may have the capacity to support your new beginning, find a new beginning of their own, and enable you both to commit to the new journey together. Seek out these opportunities.
You have come to know your souls’ purpose is aligned with your life-view. You’ve reached heart coherence. You have empathy and compassion for yourself and others. Your mission has been distilled. You are on a path to live life-purpose fully.
The big lesson here is that the journey is not complete. As you travel this new path you will be reminded of the wisdom of learning and growing. Life-long spiritual learning will continue to inspire and challenge you.
Two how-to integrate tips for phase four:
- Be fully open to the font of awareness which has been gifted to you. You now possess the tools to help you discern the phases of integration and move through them with greater ease – use them. Help yourself by finding more resources to integrate future learning.
- As lessons continue to encourage your growth, exercise your new awareness and compassion to respond in ways that facilitate greater joy, acceptance and kindness. Be patient with others who have not shared your integration experience – meet others where they are. Remind yourself of where you were and how far you have come in your journey, with gratitude.
Put these tools to practice and enjoy your journey!